


Journal of the Journey of a Jedi

by thatgreenleaf



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Diary/Journal, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Kylo Ren Redemption, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rey accidentally destroys things, Woes of the fish-nuns of Ahch-To
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22294702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgreenleaf/pseuds/thatgreenleaf
Summary: Luke Skywalker hands Rey a blank journal. It is accompanied by a series of instructions.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. Part 1: i. Luke Skywalker and his new idea

**Day: 5/2/34 ABY**

**Time: 0923**

Dear Journal,

I am Rey, a new Jedi apprentice.

You must have heard of Master Luke Skywalker, the legendary Jedi who defeated the Empire. Many days ago, I was sent by General Leia in search of Master Skywalker.

 ~~And after pestering him alot He was extremely reluctant and refused to have anything to do with~~ ~~I had to follow him around till~~ After noting my dedication to continuing the way of the Jedi and defeating the First Order, he has decided to train me ~~but he still refuses to come back to the Resistance base with me this is so frustr~~. A part of my training consists of documenting my journey as a Jedi. I am unsure of exactly where to begin, as my first few encounters with the Force were quite overwhelming, but I shall try my best to document all that I have learned in hopes of helping future generations. I believe that the Jedi order should be restored. It shall bring renewed hope to the galaxy in these times of great need.

Right now, Master Skywalker is telling me to very diligently document every single second of my training- including this moment of simply existing as part of the Force. I suppose it is worth noting that Master Skywalker has decided not to sit or stand as he trains me but, rather, sprawl on the grass while ~~lazily~~ calmly imparting upon me the significance of finding meaning in each instant of one’s training.

Clearly, he is a man who has reached a status that allows him to operate with the confidence of one who shall remain unquestioned. Seeing how no one else is around to witness the legend in this monumental moment in my training, I have taken it upon myself to ensure that it does not go undocumented.

In the process of this particular training session of ours, he has become so focused in his task of existing as part of the Force, that I can hardly hear his whispers. Now he isn’t speaking at all, actually. He has gone very still and silent. He won’t move, even when I poke him from afar with my staff.

**Time: 0934**

Dear Journal,

This is an entry to inform future Jedi apprentices that Master Skywalker is not one who takes Jedi training lightly. I wholeheartedly believe this to be true, as he stands over my shoulder and observes my task of documenting this journey as part of my training with a watchful eye.

My previous recount had been incorrect in its wording.

Master Skywalker did not sprawl on the grass. He was very gracefully reveling in the feeling of oneness with the Force as he felt it flow through nature. The ‘form’ he had sought to do it in was one that he had witnessed his own Masters take numerous times during his own journey as a Jedi apprentice. As Master Skywalker pauses to ~~make up~~ recall more history associated with the form he speaks of, I find myself looking forward to what more about the Jedi ways is about to be revealed for the first time.

**Time: 1607**

Dear Journal,

I am

**Time: 1626**

Dear Journal,

Ignore the last entry. I was interrupted by the locals. I will fill you in later.

**Time: 1643**

Dear Journal,

Never mind the last entry- turns out I was the one interrupting the locals, not the other way around.


	2. Part 1:ii. The island and its many residents (and visitors)

**Day: 6/2/34 ABY**

**Time: 0814**

Dear Journal,

I suppose this might appear somewhat irrelevant to the Jedi, but seeing how my journey officially begins in Ahch-To, I believe the locals who live here should be mentioned.

I don’t understand them, and I believe they have misunderstood me a great deal.

The locals here are called the Caretakers by Master Skywalker. He refuses to tell me anything else about them. I do not understand the language they speak, and their dislike for me prevents me from approaching them. I’m starting to believe that perhaps they would have gathered together and chased me out of the island, if they could. But they seem to have decided to restrain themselves, as they often only yell and shake their fists at me whenever I accidentally –note the ‘accidentally’, I mean it, I really do- disrupt their work.

Yesterday, however, I did nearly get chased off of the island. I cannot criticize their reaction, in truth, for I do believe that I have made a particularly grave mistake this time.

It truly was an accident, I swear.

It had all started with Chewie’s wails of how difficult gathering food in the island has been. I felt for him, for the island is scarce in edible looking creatures, and there is no telling which of these plants are edible. I myself have little experience in hunting and gathering, and have been relying on Chewie and Master Skywalker for my meals (I dare not ask the Caretakers).

Chewie had initially been alright with what Master Skywalker had been providing us, but he had gotten tired of eating the same fish for every meal. He had sought out another variety of food, and found the round fluffy birds native to the island to be a possible alternative. I do not know what happened after that, however, for he had seemed rather upset after cooking one and been unable to eat it. There were many others of the species around, but he merely batted them all away with a wail and sat before the cooked one miserably. I asked him what the matter was, but he refused to explain, and merely stated that they turned his stomach now. He looked very upset, and seemed to be preparing to starve the entire day.

I tried to tempt him into eating some of Master Skywalker’s fish and even some of the milk that Master Skywalker collects from this island, but Chewie refused them. I then found berries that were being eaten without any harmful side-effects by other creatures, and offered those to him, but he could not eat more than a few measly pieces (those were probably eaten to make me feel better). He would not even tell me what it was that he would have liked to eat. Instead, he told me to stop worrying, and that he would be fine.

He did not appear fine, though, so I sought to take further action.

Gathering had not worked, so I had thought I would try to hunt.

I had witnessed a docile looking creature eating the berries Chewie couldn’t stomach. It did not appear to be aggressive, for all it seemed to do was eat berries and sleep under bushes. The caretakers did not frighten it, and it had even been safely approached by a small caretaker with tiny grains of food. It was half a size smaller than the youngest caretaker, and walked on four short hoofed legs. The fur covering it seemed soft. The face did not bear any beak. I did not see it pick a fight with anything, and it did not seem to be accompanied by more of its kind. It certainly did not seem to have any care in the galaxy.

I followed it for some time while hidden amongst the trees. It did not seem bothered, if it did notice me. It might have noticed me, actually, for all the native birds around us had their comically large eyes on me. Remaining hidden was easy, but all the twigs and leaves were unavoidable when I had to approach my designated prey. I do not understand how anyone succeeds hunting with everything that accompanies all the green around. Thankfully my target did not seem to care.

I only had my staff for apprehending it, and was prepared to give chase, but the creature did not care no matter how close I got to it. Eventually I had gotten close enough to nudge it with a foot. It seemed like the wrong thing to do with a prey, but it did not put up a fight at all, so I simply picked it up in my arms and walked back to Chewie with it. I had imagined that perhaps its life in the island had simply been too peaceful for it to realize what fate I had in mind for it.

Chewie was very appreciative of my efforts and lifted me off the ground in his joy. It did not take long for him to rekindle the fire he had set camp around. We had the creature tied up while we contemplated how to go about cooking it.

It wasn’t long after the fire had started going when we heard the caretakers approach and surround us with the loudest complains as of yet. Chewie seemed confused and looked to me for an explanation, for all of their anger seemed to be aimed at me. I had not understood why, though. No matter how loudly they yelled and how wildly they gestured, I did not know what they were so mad about.

I honestly felt my blood freeze into crystals in my veins when the commotion drew Master Skywalker, for he had frowned at me and asked, “Why are you trying to roast one of the caretakers’ pets?”

Again, please understand that it was a complete accident. In my attempts to leave the caretakers be, I had not been observant enough to realize it was actually a pet of theirs, and not just a random wild creature they tolerated. It had not followed any of them around faithfully like I would expect a pet to. Neither did it live with any of them. It was nearly impossible for me to realize what it meant to them.

I was very quick to unbind and return the pet to its owners- the tiniest of the caretakers. The little one had eyed me with accusation and then run away to keep their small pet safe from me. The pet hardly seemed to care about being returned to its owner. It’s uncharacteristic of a pet, isn’t it?

Chewie seemed to find it amusing. I suppose he wasn’t the one nearly carried off and thrown into the waters by the caretakers after their pet had been safely retrieved. Master Skywalker was of some help, thankfully. ~~Once he stopped laughing for long enough.~~

Needless to say, I was too frightened and ashamed to take shelter in the huts under the care of the caretakers, and slept in the Falcon last night.

It still did not prevent me from waking up to their continued wrath. My legs still ache from being beaten out of the Falcon and out onto the beach with several locals wielding their brooms like one would wield lightsabers.

Strange, since I do not recall sweeping the ship ever being a part of the locals’ duties.

**Time: 0932**

Dear Journal,

I wish BB-8 were here with me. BB-8 would never have forsaken me, unlike R2D2. R2 could be using their connections with the locals to turn them more favourable towards me, but he had quite literally abandoned me and gone away with them after they were done berating me for my disturbances again this morning. R2 knows it was an accident, but when I called to them, they claimed that their reputation with the locals would be tarnished if they were to associate with me.

At least I have Chewie with me. Though I do not understand why I faced the brunt of the locals’ complains when Chewie was the one with elaborate plans on how to make a meal out of their pet. Part of me suspects that perhaps Chewie has secretly aligned himself with R2, and that R2 has put in a good word for Chewie when they refused to do the same for me.

BB-8 would have sat with me instead of mingling with the locals. I hope BB-8 is well.

**Time: 0946**

Dear Journal,

Finn would most definitely have remained with me. He would not have cared for the locals. Finn is amazing. I wish I could have brought him with me. I hope he is faring well.

**Time: 0951**

Dear Journal,

I wish General Leia were not so unavailable. She could’ve been here with me then. Master Skywalker would definitely have listened to her.

**Time: 1302**

Dear Journal,

Apparently I am too old to be a Jedi apprentice.

It does not bother me, for the only reason I am taking up Jedi training is to fight the First Order and help the Resistance. The First Order has the power of strong dark force users aiding their continued reign of terror throughout the galaxy. We need the Jedi to stop them. I do not care how difficult it is to follow the way of the Jedi. I am not going to stop till I have mastered the use of the Force.

**Time: 1307**

Dear Journal,

Master Skywalker believes the reason I can’t control my strikes is because I am far past the standard age of training. For every hit that unintentionally lands on my target of a pile of sturdy rocks that make far too much noise on being hit with the lightest of touches, I get a similar one on me. I have tried to evade and defend myself, but Master Skywalker remains agile and relentless despite his age.

**Time: 1318**

Dear Journal,

I do not recall the locals ever being present for our training sessions before. There are far too many of them gathered today. Master Skywalker remained unbothered, but I could not focus with so many of them observing us with such intent. Either I am paranoid or there were muted murmurs of glee every time I failed and received a strike.

**Time: 1325**

Well that was definitely not paranoia- they outright cheered when I rolled down a hill.

**Time: 1752**

Dear Journal,

I am in pain. Immense pain. Pain unlike any other. So much pain-

**Time: 2011**

Dear Journal,

I have a frequent visitor on this island. His visits are not voluntary on his part. My simultaneous visitations of him are not voluntary either. But it is the way of the Force, and neither of us have much choice in it.

If I were to begin describing him, I would say that he is someone who sees no colours in the world aside from black and white. And he has chosen to embrace black and become the embodiment of it. I suppose one might imagine this to be a symbolism for his practice of the dark side of the force, but I mean what I mentioned in the literal sense.

Black is all he wears. Every time I see him, he is wearing black. It covers every inch of him, to the very tips of his fingers. Even his hair is black. When he doesn’t wear his mask, his face is all that is visible. He is simply relentless in his drive to become one with the dark. If he were ever unfortunate enough to be lost in space, he would be impossible to find in the darkness of space. That is how successful he is in his strive to let the darkness cloak him.

That is why I hardly noticed him when he arrived. I had sensed him, but he was almost impossible to locate with my diminishing fire. It very nearly caused me to scream when he addressed me from right behind.

I am sure it was done on purpose. I might have imagined the slight upturn of the corner of his lips, but the glint of amused warmth in his eyes had been impossible to misinterpret.

His eyebrows had lifted when he saw what I had in my hands.

I would have hid it, but it’s not as if I was ashamed of him discovering what I was doing. Or threatened by what he might make of it. I would _never_ be concerned of such things. I had thought he would say something, but he merely continued to stare.

“Too dark to see?” I called testily. I had enough pain in my body from today to deal with, and the way I was forced to bend to keep him in my sights just added to it.

He had stepped closer at my words, till I no longer had to twist around painfully to see him, and taken a seat on the ground beside the log I was seated on. It had brought him close enough for me to hear him murmur, “I see you.”

He does this a lot- says things that make it very hard to keep a conversation going without sounding interested in one. But if we both remained quiet, then a comfortable silence would follow. The thought of it was not one I found comfort in. For I could not sit basking in the presence of Kylo Ren. Not when the entire purpose of my journey so far had been to help defeat the very organization he helped prosper. And to defeat him, of course.

He knows this, I am sure. I had made it apparent in our previous conversations. I was not friendly with him. But he still did not seem to share my reservations. His eyes had strayed ahead of us, and he sat contently beside me, as if I were his companion.

His eyes eventually turned to look at me. “Is that a journal?”

My answer to that was a quick “ _It’s just a book_.” The bluntness of it seemed to amuse him, especially when I had been still visibly poised to write in said book. So I added a terse, “That I am writing.”

He then turned to focus the entirety of his attention on me. “Am I in it?”

“You’ll make a few appearances.” It was said it as a warning. I could present him in a very unflattering light. For example, his infuriating calm and interest when it came to our interactions. It was a flaw. As I am his enemy, he should treat me with fear and hostility.

The conversation that followed then had him asking, “You’re in it too, then?” to which I had replied, “What makes you think that?” to which _he_ replied, “You would make appearances in books about me,” so I assumed the reason he thought so was, “because I defeated you?”

His voice was soft when he told me, “That’s not all.”

He had done it again. There was no way of replying to that without adding more meaning to his words. I did not want to look away from his gaze, for it felt like admitting defeat in some way. Continuing to stare into his eyes felt like defeat as well. He must have felt the same way, for he did not look away either. He seemed to hardly breathe, and I could not make a sound either. It had felt like I would be defeated if I did.

My eyes had started to sting from staring unblinkingly, so I raised my journal pointedly and told him, “This isn’t a book about you.”

After our eye contact broke, it had become very obvious that he really _had_ been holding his breath. Seeing him attempting to inconspicuously draw in a large breath had been satisfying to watch. It felt like a small victory, since I troubled him as much as he troubled me. As enemies.

“Is it about a particular place?” He had asked.

It wasn’t, and I told him as such.

“Is it about your dreams?” He still wanted to know more. The last thing I wanted was him attempting to pour over my journal, trying to find my worst nightmares. I very strictly told him that, “It’s not a _dream_ journal.”

He then paused to think. He hummed in contemplation, working his jaw as his eyebrows crinkled. “Is it about your Jedi training?” He asked curiously, dropping his chin to catch my lowered eyes.

“Yes,” I replied shortly.

The man before me is one who would, without a doubt, sneer down at the prospect of maintaining journal entries. No doubt he would claim that I should already be able to destroy a First Order fleet by now, not waste time writing about what forms I learn every day. He is the kind of person to criticize the mundane practice Luke Skywalker has instructed me to follow- keeping a journal of all things when I should already be where he is, prepared to defeat his master and free the galaxy of their reign of terror. Not wasting my time writing about my daily routine, of all things.

But, the prospect of my training progressing to the point that I had to maintain a journal to keep track of all I have been taught should be frightening ~~although it’s not true~~. I could be writing about how to defeat him. In the very first Jedi temple where my training had ~~officially~~ begun, ancient script could have been discovered, with their interpretation and practice documented in this journal. The very pages in my hands could contain tales of new abilities terrifying in their power. Hidden knowledge revealed by the greatest Jedi of all time, Luke Skywalker himself ~~if he would cooperate~~. Tales of powers unstoppable in nature, strong enough to defeat an entire fleet.

Kylo Ren nodded agreeably. Then he said, “It is good practice.”

His approval had me aghast.

I was even more aghast – nay, horrified – when he revealed, “I used to do it.”

Unfortunately, before I could formulate a reply, ~~the Force had apparently decided he should get the last word in~~ our connection faded, along with his presence.

~~Lovely.~~

**Time: 2057**

The Force is an enigma. A force of nature. A force that bows to no other.

It should be able to heal a person’s pain, then. No doubt an injury. Such as bruises and scrapes caused by someone rolling down a hill. It is an ability that should exist, if it did not already, and should be available to all ~~Jedi apprentices~~ Jedi and Jedi apprentices.


	3. Part 1: iii. Multiple offences, all accidental of course

**Day: 7/2/34 ABY**

**Time: 0721**

Dear Journal,

The Caretakers woke me up for aiding their chores this morning. I was partly grateful for the opportunity to make up for the trouble I have caused, but it did not last long for I washed too vigorously and tore the clothes I had been tasked with cleaning. They stood around and contemplated how else to make use of me, but eventually appeared to have deemed me unfit for any of their chores, and left.

**Time:** **0752**

I do not understand why these things continue happening between us. I am trying to help, I really am, but things refuse to go in any direction but the wrong one when it comes to the Caretakers. The tried to involve me in a different chore- This time, they’d asked me to clear out some rubble. I hadn’t realized they wanted to _keep_ the rubble. I’d been clearing a pathway into the structure and throwing the rocks into the ocean beyond the cliff. Once the Caretakers noticed, they’d gone mad. They rocks were impossible to retrieve once lost to the ocean.

**Time: 0804**

Dear Journal,

I think the rubble was important. A few of the Caretakers are crying. The structure they’re trying to clear out has intricate designs on it, which makes it stand out from the usual huts.

I sincerely hope this was not a Jedi temple. This island _is_ where first Jedi temples were built.

**Time: 0809**

Dear Journal,

I think it was a Jedi temple. I might ask Master Luke, just to be sure.

**Time: 0814**

Master Luke confirmed it was a relic, the first place where the first Jedi book was written.

Oh kriff, what have I done?

**Time: 0913**

Dear Journal,

I am labouring away driving carts up the hills. I have not failed so far, but the Caretakers are very demanding.

**Time: 0929**

Dear Journal,

I don’t know if the Force ever gets angry or offended. I am frightened of what retributions the Force might have planned for me, in case it does. Who knows what awaits me in the future. Maker, it was a mistake I _swear_.

**Time: 0938**

Kriff, I thought that was going to be the end of me. I got viciously scraped by something harsh and thought it was the Force, but it was just the little Caretaker whose pet I’d nearly accidentally made a dinner out of. The child had brought their friends, and they were pressing pine cones on me as I rested after my chores.

**Time: 0941**

I’m sure not all children are so difficult to deal with. Maker, they’re so _mean_ and merciless. I have never dealt with torture such as this before.

**Time: 0946**

I haven’t told Master Luke what I had done yet. I don’t imagine he’ll take it well. He’ll probably refuse to train me further- I can’t have him stopping now, not when I ~~haven’t learned a thing yet~~ have so much more to learn.

**Time: 0948**

Dear Journal,

I desperately need to know how the Force might punish me, but I definitely can’t ask Master Luke about it.

**Time: 0953**

Dear Journal,

The Force must be testing me. My visitor has made an appearance. He’s strong with the Force, so he would know the answer. But his use of the Force is not like Luke Skywalker’s. He has embraced the dark side. I don’t want the Force thinking I’m allies with him, what if that makes my punishment worse?

**Time: 0957**

Dear Journal,

I just realized that if anyone could offend the Force, then it would be Kylo Ren. And yet, the Force hasn’t punished him in anyway. Does that mean I am worse for destroying an ancient Jedi relic?

He has no clue of my turmoil. He thinks I’m busy documenting my teachings, and has promised, “I won’t interrupt.” Of course he’d say that, he’s pleased that I am keeping a journal like he used to do. Now he has taken a seat beside me and is doing some reading on a data pad. I am trying to get a peek of what he’s reading. He is no doubt plotting an attack as he reads.

Oh, he’s not plotting, he’s reading up on the geography of planets that have rain. That sounds interesting. Oh no- he knew it rained here. It rained during one of our conversations. I see how it is. “I’m not Jakku,” I tell him, very unhelpfully.

Maker.

What does he think he’s doing, smirking without even _looking_ at me when he does it and telling me, “You could tell me where you are if you’d really like for me to find you,” as if I ever would, he is lying for I would never betray Luke Skywalker’s location, know this dear journal. I would rather go to where he is all alone without a single person for backup instead.

I’m telling him that there are volcanoes and poison mists here. I think he actually believes me, for he’s paying very close attention now. He can go try looking for me in a place like that, then!

Kriff, he just said not to go to such a dangerous place for he doesn’t think I’ll survive. How dare he? _He_ won’t survive in a place like that without his well ventilated ship and trained crew!

The conclusion he has come to is, “let’s never meet there, then.”

**Time: 1342**

Dear Journal,

Luke Skywalker is rather hell-bent on proving why the legacy of the Jedi ended in failure. I’m only half listening to him for I do not want him to realize that I am going to learn to use the Force anyways. And I am going to bring him back to the Resistance.

**Time: 1346**

Dear Journal,

I think I’ve set him off. It might have been something I said. It wasn’t very controversial, but I did frown when he said attachments are forbidden. Is that why he’s on this island? Is there a wife somewhere he is hiding from?

**Time: 1404**

Dear Journal,

Technically, if by ‘attachments’ the Jedi mean officially documented relationships, then be all means, I am free of any and all sorts of attachments and hence the perfect candidate for a Jedi.

**Time: 1712**

Dear Journal,

Friends don’t count as attachments, right?

**Time: 1836**

Dear Journal,

Suppose I get a droid. If I become attached to the droid, then does that disqualify me from being a Jedi?

**Time: 1915**

Dear Journal,

When I proposed the loopholes I had found in the ‘no attachments’ logic of the Jedi, Master Skywalker admitted that the Jedi ways are flawed.

**Time: 1917**

Luke Skywalker has now added the ‘no attachments loophole’ to the list of reasons on why the Jedi ways have failed. He has cited me as ‘Rey from nowhere’ and quoted me. I almost expected the Force to strike both of us down with lightening when Master Skywalker scribbled it down on an ancient looking Jedi textbook as a side note.

This is just another way I am offending the Jedi and the Force.

Oh kriff, what is going to happen to me?

**Time: 2203**

Dear Journal,

As I lay in my bed –I am back to the hut by the way, thanks to Master Skywalker- every sound from outside fills me with fear. Who knows what the Force is going to do to me. What if I wake up looking like a fish and the locals scale me?

**Time: 2335**

Kriffing bastard I almost thought my time had come can the Force pick a more appropriate time for Kylo Ren to show up before me I saw looming shadow and thought it was a monstrous embodiment of the Force here to extract my soul!

**Time: 2341**

What did they feed him to make him such a giant? Kriff!

**Time: 2348**

Dear Journal,

I am attempting to fall asleep again. My visitor has finally left. He had been very confused about my reactions to him.

**Time: 2353**

Pray I don’t wake up looking a fish.


End file.
